The day before yesterday my doctor called to tell me that the test results from my MRI investigation had come.

He wanted me to get there the next day so we could talk face to face.

Even then I realized that that not all was well.

No overworked doctor book an appointment for a visit to tell good news.

The level of anxiety after I was told that the doctor wanted to talk to us as soon as possible was extreme.

My thoughts flew like a chaos through my head, is it a tumor? it ms? is it an inflammation? it is TBE? Will I die? How long have I to live?

Yesterday, we met with the doctor and all the hope that he might not find anything and just called me up to discuss how we would proceed disappeared immediately when I saw his sad face.

There was something in his eyes that told me what he would say now it was not good.

We got to sit, and he asked quite cheerfully how we felt. Then, for a second I thought "phu there is nothing wrong anyway."

But that was not the case.

He said that the investigations conducted have shown that I have brain changes.

He could not say anything more without further investigation. So I still have no answers.

What is a change? What does that mean? How will it affect me?

I've got an appointment for a lumbar puncture to allow them to investigate my spinal fluid.

I would get a call to it within a month he thought.

So now you just have to take it one day at a time and hope for the best.

I try to be strong, but it's hard when it feels like life turns against me.

Is it not one thing it's another. Yesterday it was One year ago since mother's funeral. A year!

Now I'm dealing with a possible brain disease.

I've really struggled all my life to mental illness, and now this?

Right now I think life is terribly unfair.

But like I said, I will try to think of anything else, hope for the best and take one day at a time.

There's a possibility that this is not something dangerous.

I will probably need help to keep the thoughts away, Do you have any tips on how I can do to think other things and take one day at a time until I get my judgment

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